The hidden frustrations of apartment living

Minh Hoa, 37, says: "I initially bought my current place for its windows, but have rarely drawn the curtains open the last three years".

This was caused by the many times he caught his neighbor across the street half-clad through their window, which made him afraid he might himself become a target for peeping Toms.

But he has been unable to escape the smells.

Every day around dinner time his entire floor is filled with a mixture of odors. By now he knows all his neighbors’ go-to dishes: The next-door family always seasons its food with first-press fish sauce, the old couple across the hall usually cook Chinese herbal medicine and the young couple in the corner flat tend to grill dried squid for midnight snacks.

The worst nuisance has been auditory. Last year he was deeply distressed by his downstairs neighbors constantly coming to his door to complain about noise from his house. Some even tagged him in the resident chat group at 1 a.m. one time, demanding that his family keeps quiet although everyone was already fast asleep by then.

He has had to cover his living room floor with foam mats and ask his children to keep their voices down after 9 p.m.

A family seeks relief from the summer heat in an apartment hallway during a power outage in June 2026. Photo by PD

Hoang Thu Thuy, 32, suffers from similar anxieties. She used to wear a mask whenever she went out of her house to avoid an elderly neighbor living below, who believed that her boisterous young sons had disrupted his peace.

She later learned the real grievance was not her children but the sound of water trickling through pipes late at night, which kept the old man awake. Her family has stopped taking late-night showers ever since.

The usual layout of apartment buildings, with long, narrow hallways and closely spaced units, can also lead to awkward mix-ups. Thuy almost tried to open her neighbor’s door once, mistaking it for her own house after stepping out of the elevator.

Another time her husband carried inside a pack of beef he found hanging on their door handle, assuming she had ordered it.

In reality, a shipper had confused their apartment with their neighbor’s. It meant Thuy to pay her neighbors for two kilograms of beef that her family, as she puts it, "might never finish."

Beyond neighborly friction, many people also feel a growing disillusionment with the true extent of their home ownership.

In late 2024 Nguyen Thanh Tuan, 29, was stopped by security while carrying his furniture into the lobby for moving into his new flat.

He had been unaware and was informed then that he could not proceed without a moving permit. It meant he was forced him to spend a night in the hallway, standing guard over his belongings, until the management office opened the following morning.

He laments: "I have to ask for [the management’s] permission for everything from hanging a painting to cleaning the sofa. At first I was rather shocked that the decisions concerning my own home were not mine alone to make".

But the greatest fear high-rise residents have is infrastructure failure.

Minh Tu, 32, is still frustrated when she recalls the nights she was woken up by fire alarms only to find out they were false.

Another not-so-fond memory of hers is the severe flooding in late September, when electricity and water were cut off for five days. Each time she walked up 26 floors carrying water and groceries through a foul-smelling staircase used for discarding trash, she felt she was being pushed to her absolute physical and mental limits.

These stories are merely snapshots of the lives led by millions of urban dwellers.

According to the Ministry of Construction, there are over 4,000 apartment complexes nationwide, many fully occupied. So many people living cheek by jowl inevitably causes conflict.

In Ho Chi Minh City, the 1022 portal received over 11,000 noise complaints in 2024, most between 6 p.m.and 10 p.m.

Nguyen Duy Thành, who has 11 years of experience in building management, identifies four classic causes of disputes: noise, smell, spatial encroachment, and pets.

He once saw a young couple almost break up after cigarette butts started appearing mysteriously on their balcony. Neither of them were smokers and so the man suspected his wife of infidelity.

An investigation eventually revealed that the butts were being flicked down by a man smoking on a higher floor and swept by the wind there.

In another instance, a resident watering plants on their balcony accidentally wetted a neighbor's laundry, leading to a formal complaint demanding a "ban on watering plants during business hours."

A third involved a family whose frequent use of fish sauce for cooking sent pungent smells through the ventilation system, prompting a neighbor to petition for a "ban on cooking fish sauce within the building"

"Don't assume that luxury co-living spaces are free of such nuisances," Thanh warns.

If in lower-priced apartments the disputes are over parking spaces, in high-end condos it is a battle over amenities or the attitude shown by the reception staff.

Thu Duc City in eastern Ho Chi Minh City with resettlement areas, apartment complexes, townhouses, and land plots in August 2024. Photo by Quynh Tran

Many western countries have stringent regulations for apartment dwellers. In Germany, the Ruhezeit law strictly prohibits noise between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. and on Sundays. A simple act like running a washing machine or disposing of glass bottles during those restricted hours can result in fines of up to €50,000 (US$ 59,000) or the termination of a lease.

Switzerland follows the Hausordnung rules, which ban draining bathtubs or walking in high heels after 10 p.m. Even lunchtime is considered sacrosanct. Meanwhile some New York buildings require most floors to be carpeted to reduce sound, with eviction possible for disruptive behavior.

"Co-living teaches people empathy," Thanh concludes. "A civilized community isn't one without disputes; it's one where residents agree to set aside their ego for the sake of the collective".