We are called ‘selfish’ for not wanting children

By Ha Anh   April 11, 2023 | 03:38 pm PT
Many people express their surprise when they learn that my husband and I don’t want to have children of our own.

They think it’s selfish of us, that we just want to live a comfortable life on our own and that we will face the consequences of being childless when we get old.

I’m 31 and my husband is 32. We have been together for 5 years now. We both enjoy our daily life of going to work in the morning and coming home in the evening to finish our work or pursue our shared or personal interests.

On the weekends, we travel together to places we’ve never been before. We are happy with our freedom, which is uninterrupted by children. And this is all not to mention the fact that our jobs would be negatively impacted if we had children now.

My sister-in-law suffered from postpartum depression, which made the entire family miserable and left my husband traumatized. I personally don’t like children, and I feel so even more when I hear horror stories from my friends about painful childbirths.

Luckily, my parents-in-law have not put pressure on us to have children because they already have both grandsons and granddaughters.

But my mom has advised me to think carefully about this decision, saying my biological clock is ticking and it would be dangerous for me and my hypothetical baby if I give birth when I'm past my prime age.

When I explain my decision not to have a child, some of my colleagues say that my husband and I are being selfish and that we just want to live for ourselves. But think that whether we want to have children or not is entirely up to us, and it is unfair for others to criticize us as selfish.

There are enough people on this planet already, so why bother giving birth when many people can’t take care of their own children properly?

There is one thing that I’m concerned about, however: if one of us changes our mind in the future, we could have a massive conflict.

I hope you can give me some advice.

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