Foreigners marvel at Vietnamese tradition of ancestor worship

The man from Cumbria, England, was struck by the deep respect and devotion they had for their ancestors.

"I never thought the deceased would need such things," he tells VnExpress, admitting he is unfamiliar with the concept of an afterlife. In England, funerals mark the end of a person’s life.

While he remembers his relatives' deaths anniversaries, he does not commemorate them. In contrast, Vietnamese people believe in the ongoing presence of their ancestors in the afterlife, offering paper money and food to them as a way to provide comfort to both the deceased and the living.

Tim, who lives in Thu Duc City with his Vietnamese wife, initially did not participate in the family’s worship rituals as he did not want to pretend to understand a tradition he was unfamiliar with. However, his wife helped him appreciate the meaning behind these customs.

"She prepares food, buys fruits and places them on the family altar while praying, believing that her words will reach her grandparents," he says.

The food is consumed after the offering, and not wasted, he says. "Vietnamese people treat each other with deep care and profound respect."

After attending several death anniversaries and funerals with his wife’s family, he began to understand the significance of these rituals. Now he lights incense on the family altar daily and makes offerings on the full moon day each month.

"I feel that here the deceased are considered to remain present in the hearts and lives of their descendants, whereas in England, we only remember and cherish the memories of their time alive."

His experience is not unique. Many foreigners have shared similar sentiments, according to a survey by the Pew Research Center in the U.S. released in late July.

It also found that Vietnam ranks highest in East and Southeast Asia for practices related to ancestor worship. Mauritz Pretorius, 34, of South Africa researched Vietnamese religions and customs before moving to the country, but was still surprised by the extent of the worship culture. He remembers his first experience of cleaning and paying respects at a gravesite with his wife’s family, which included about 25 members.

Despite the busy period around Lunar New Year, all the family members made it a priority to gather and pay their respects to their ancestors. They prepared food and cleaning tools and travelled from the downtown area to the HCMC Cemetery, where they joined many others who were also visiting graves.

The family divided the tasks—some cleaned the tombstone, while others arranged food and fruits on plates and lit incense. Finally they burned joss paper and waited for the incense to burn out before sharing a meal together at the cemetery. Mauritz, a Christian who has lived in Vietnam for six years, is impressed by this tradition. "It’s a huge family trip," he says. "I believe that to sustain such traditions for many years it must come from the heart."

In his early days in Vietnam he found it puzzling to see altars filled with food, fruit, salt, rice, and joss paper. He learned that these offerings are made to pray for good fortune and prosperity.

According to the Pew survey, 96% of Vietnamese people burn incense, and 90% regularly offer flowers, candles and food to commemorate their ancestors.

Among those who believe in the presence of deceased grandparents, 45% said they talk to their ancestors about their lives, and 8 out of 10 people said their ancestors' blessings have helped them in life.

Some 70% of Vietnamese visit family graves at least once a year, and 68% believe that adhering to traditional funeral rituals is very important.

Mauritz Pretorius (far left) visits a gravesite at Thu Duc City cemetery in HCMC with his wife's family in June 2024. Photo courtesy of Mauritz

In July 2019, shortly after arriving in HCMC, Warren, 29, was startled to see people throwing bundles of U.S. dollars into a burning metal box.

But he quickly realised it was fake money. A friend explained that the Vietnamese were simply "sending" money to their ancestors.

He also followed once got caught behind funeral processions where people threw paper money onto the streets as part of their prayers. He found this occasionally troublesome as it left the streets covered in trash. "I realised that Vietnamese people take worship practices very seriously," he says.

He says some colleagues take time off work for family death anniversaries, travelling back to their hometowns as they did not want to miss these important events.

He says in England people typically take flowers to graves but not food while in Vietnam people often eat and gather at a gravesite as if their ancestors are still present. "They keep the memory of the deceased alive. But it can also bring back the pain of loss.