My mother redirects all my gold wedding gifts to my younger sister

By Ha Thu   June 23, 2024 | 06:36 pm PT
I entrusted my mother with the gold gifts received at my wedding, intending for her to give them to relatives at future family weddings, but she gave them all to my younger sister instead.

I am 37 years old, married for 14 years, and have three children with a happy family life. However, my relationship with my mother is strained.

I began working and got married young, with my mother fully funding my education. Aware of her challenges, as my father had a mistress and other children, I financially supported my sister’s college education after my own marriage.

My sister quickly married after college upon becoming pregnant and now has two children. She stays at home and does not manage the household chores, leaving me to financially support her and my mother out of sympathy for my mother.

My mother receives a monthly pension of VND7 million (US$275) and earns an additional VND13 million from renting out a kiosk and land. Annually, I give her VND60 million to support my sister’s children. I also cover other expenses as needed, including buying a motorcycle and covering medical bills for my sister.

Additionally, my husband and I contributed VND500 million towards a house for my mother. I also secretly provided an additional VND250 million for converting her land plot to residential use. I have relinquished my inheritance rights to my father’s land for my mother and have purchased household essentials for her like TVs, refrigerators, and washing machines.

After having my third child three years ago, I left my job to manage household responsibilities as there was no one else to help. Having savings from my working time, I gave my mother VND100 million to help build a property, which she intended to rent out later.

However, when I requested a third of the future rental income until the VND100 million was repaid, my mother accused me of being too calculative. That hurt me, as I have provided her with VND1 billion since I started working and I don’t mind if she chooses to give it all—whether that’s money or my gold wedding gifts—to my sister.

I have urged my sister to help with chores and find a job, but my mother defends her, citing her poor health and inability to manage housework. My mother justifies her decisions by stating that I am in a better place than my sister, who is not, adding to her stress. Despite my resolutions to stop, I continue giving money to support them, unable to bear seeing my mother struggle.

What are your thoughts on my situation?

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