My mother-in-law scolds me for suggesting my husband give $16 to my parents monthly

I’m a 27-year-old office worker in HCMC, married for nearly two years, and I just gave birth to our child a little over two months ago. My husband was my first love. He’s kind and caring, and works in the packaging and scrap industry. He runs his own business and is still paying off a truck loan, with a monthly payment of around VND10 million. Before getting married, we agreed to contribute a portion of our monthly incomes to a joint fund for raising our children and securing our future. However, after moving in together, my husband hasn’t given me that portion of his salary.

My family is struggling financially, while my in-laws are better off but offer us no financial support. I mostly rely on myself, without much help from my husband. My salary is used to take care of our child. Since I live with my in-laws, I give my mother-in-law VND2.5 million each month to cover food, electricity, and water expenses, all from my salary. My husband’s earnings go toward paying off the truck loan, driver costs, fuel, and meals. For every holiday, he buys me gifts, but it feels more like we’re dating than a married couple, as we don’t have any joint savings for the future.

As I’m an only child, I want my parents to feel that their son-in-law is thinking of them. That’s why I suggested that my husband give them a small amount of money. I’ve made this request many times, but he hasn’t followed through. When my mother-in-law found out, she said: "When your parents get sick, let’s see if your husband abandons them."

I believe that if we don’t care for my parents while they’re healthy, how will we handle things when they get sick? My mother-in-law is impulsive with her words and often speaks without thinking. She shares every little detail about our household with her siblings and neighbors. Even though I give her money every month, she complains that it’s not enough, but instead of telling me directly, she talks behind my back.

I’ll never forget our wedding day, when my mother-in-law didn’t bring any money for the traditional wedding offering. According to custom, there must be a small offering to save face for both families. Many guests noticed she hadn’t brought any money, and when asked, she said: "When my siblings got married, nobody needed the wedding offering."

Although my mother-in-law has money, she lent several hundred million dong to others, and now, none of them have repaid her. This has left her sleepless night after night. I often wonder why she didn’t save that money to help her son start his business, instead of lending it out and losing sleep over it.

I frequently think that being single or a single mother has its advantages because you don’t owe anyone emotionally. You can live their lives as you choose. Sometimes I feel it might be better to raise my child alone. That way, I wouldn’t have to live with my in-laws or endure this pressure. My husband doesn’t help much with raising our child, so whether I have a husband or not doesn’t seem to make much difference—I could raise my child by myself.

Am I wrong for thinking this way?