My husband provides financial support to his family without discussing with me

While I deeply respect and love my husband, this habit of unilaterally supporting his family troubles me. I appreciate that everyone has their own approach to demonstrating love and responsibility, yet at times, his excessive concern for his family verges on obsession, impacting our relationship.

Despite having a stable and decent income, my husband shoulders not only our family’s financial obligations but also those of his siblings and other relatives. I am not against lending a helping hand—after all, everyone encounters challenges and could use support. Nevertheless, it is distressing that he disregards my views and feelings. It makes me feel marginalized and excluded from both minor and major financial decisions.

I am often left in the dark about how the funds he lends or gives are utilized, and I am excluded from participating in what could be optimal decisions for our family. Money-related discussions between us often grow tense, leaving me feeling undervalued in these crucial decisions. It seems as though I am on the periphery, merely observing the financial choices being made by him without my involvement. While maintaining family ties is important, it’s hard to overlook the disregard of my own needs and emotions.

What I desire is not an abrupt change but a genuine and open dialogue between us. I wish for my husband to recognize that financial unity in our family is crucial—it’s not merely about assisting others but also about fostering a nurturing home environment, and sometimes, simply involving his wife in financial decisions could substantially enhance our relationship. I hope we can reach a mutual agreement where both parties feel respected and responsibilities are shared equitably. In love, as in marriage, understanding and empathy are vital for navigating and surmounting challenges together.

How can I effectively communicate this to him?