I am 28 years old, and my girlfriend is a year younger. We have been together for three years, our families have met each other, and we plan to marry around June next year. We agreed to handle the expenses ourselves without financial support from our families, partly because my girlfriend mentioned her family’s financial difficulties and said she didn’t want to burden her parents.
Still, her family proposed a big wedding, with a number of planned guests twice as many as my family’s. My girlfriend also mentioned that the wedding might run at a loss since her relatives and friends might not give us too many monetary gifts.
Recently, she said I need to pay an additional VND30 million for the costs of an additional dinner party held the night before the wedding, hosted by her parents for relatives from her countryside, as well as their accommodations.
I disagreed and said I would only pay for reasonable wedding expenses like the ancestral ceremony, photography, wedding dress, gold gifts, and a proper number of guests. Any additional costs desired by her family should be covered by her or her family.
My girlfriend then said she only had VND20 million, and insisted that I cover all other wedding expenses, arguing that if I truly loved her, I wouldn’t hesitate to spend money for her. However, I believe a wedding should be a celebration, not an extravagance that leads to debt. I think my girlfriend’s family is too conceited while still facing financial struggles.
Are my thoughts justified? What should I do in this situation?