I cheated on my husband while he was away for work

My husband works on a construction site far from home and would sometimes return once every few months. I stay home to work and care for our child.

Whenever he calls, we only exchange pleasantries before he hangs up. I know he is under pressure and tired, but the distance between us keeps growing, both physically and emotionally.

During that time, I had a new colleague. He was a few years older, had a calm demeanor and took an interest in me. At first, I kept my distance but I gradually let my guard down.

He often helped me pick up my child, repaired broken things around my house, and invited me to lunch. I told myself we were only friends but when he held my hand, I did not have the strength to pull away.

We had a secret relationship for several months. I lived in guilt over my mistake but I was unable to stop. One day, my husband returned home unexpectedly, saw our messages on my phone and everything fell apart. Without yelling or cursing at me, he stayed silent before saying, "I thought you were different." His words have haunted me for years.

My husband did not file for divorce but he became distant and cold. I tried to fix our marriage yet what’s left between us now feels like duty, not love.

I still feel regret every time I look at my child. I could have tried harder, talked to my husband more, or asked him to work closer to home, but I made the wrong choice. I do not know if he has forgiven me or if he is just staying silent for the sake of our child.

Sometimes I wonder if our marriage would be different had I not made that mistake. My husband is staying but his affection is gone. Should I keep holding on so our child could have a complete family, or let go so we can both move on? I need honest advice.