Pitfalls of splitting inheritance before children turn 35

I am almost 60, and the years of hard work, daily stress and constant family responsibilities are behind me. Looking back I realize the greatest legacy I can leave is not money or land, but children who grow into responsible, decent adults.

I have heard many debates over inheritance. Some support early division of the state so that children can settle down, while others call for keeping it as security in old age.

As a father, husband and provider, I have a few honest thoughts for people in a similar position.

To me, a father’s most valuable gift is not property or savings, but the education and responsible love he provides while raising them.

Every father wants his children to succeed and be happy. But real love is about giving at the right time and in the right way. A father who avoids vices, takes care of his family, and sets an example has given his children a lasting blessing.

Many think giving children a house or large sum of money when they marry or graduate will give them a head start.

I disagree.

Most people are not fully mature at 25-30 years old. Too much too soon can make them settle for comfort, work just enough to get by, and lose their motivation in life.

Early wealth can spoil character and encourage laziness. This is the time for measured support, funding further studies, helping with a small mortgage, or investing in a controlled startup. Children must learn to stand on their own, face challenges, and make mistakes. That is the real foundation for a strong life.

By the time they are 35-40, most should have stable careers, families and values. At this stage money from parents matters more because they appreciate the effort it took to earn and know how to use it wisely.

If a child want to expand their business, switch careers or grow their operations, this can be the right time for a father to provide financial support.

But I don’t think parents should give away all of their possessions. They should keep enough to stay independent when they grow old, and maintain authority when children need advice.

Many of my friends made the mistake of giving away all their possessions too soon. But old age can last 20-30 years, filled with concerns about health, medicine, daily expenses, and the need for comfort and companionship.

This can leave parents with nothing in their senior years. They would be dependent on others, or even neglected by their own children. Love is valuable, but without financial independence, a parent’s role is diminished. In the end they may feel like outsiders in the home that they built.

One day we will leave this world and pass everything to our children, but that should be done with careful planning.

While we are still alive we should stay independent, look after ourselves and mentor our children without relying on them.

Children are our flesh and blood, our future and our legacy. But love is not the same as spoiling, and helping out is not the same as giving away everything.

What we leave behind is a way of living, a moral example and a lesson in responsibility.

Inheritance is not just about money; it is the art of love with discipline.