Melinda French Gates opens up about toxic college relationship that led to decades of body image struggles

By Phong Ngo May 16, 2025 | 03:52 am PT

Melinda French Gates, former wife of Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates, has revealed that a toxic college romance had a profound and lasting effect on how she viewed her body.

The 60-year-old philanthropist said she first became self-conscious about her body in high school, but the issue deepened after she began dating an unnamed boyfriend while studying at Duke University, as reported by Page Six.

"[It] was really not a positive relationship for me at all," she said during an April appearance on "The Jamie Kern Lima Show."

"He cared a lot about how I looked and said a lot of things about it to me, and that really is not OK. It really is not."

Melinda admitted that she stayed in the relationship longer than she should have and had internalized many of the negative messages by the time it ended.

Melinda French Gates. Photo from Instagram

"I would say that carried through with me into my 20s and even into my 30s," she said. "And it wasn’t, probably, until I got to 40 that I got more OK with who I was."

Now, she said, her relationship with her body has shifted. Over the years, she has worked on building a healthier self-image, prioritizing fitness and well-being over appearance.

"I want to be fit ’cause I wanna be able to do all the things I want."

She added that letting go of the pressure to maintain a "perfect" body brought her more peace.

To support her progress, Melinda said she consulted "several different nutritionists" and worked with a therapist to better understand the anxiety she had around her body.

While her focus was on personal growth, she also wanted to be a positive role model for her daughters, Jennifer, 29, and Phoebe, 22.

"I also got to a point where I realized that I was role modeling for my daughters," she said. "It was really important that I work on this in myself so I didn’t put any of that on them and so when they had body issues, they could come to me and I could be honest with them."

Melinda met Bill in 1987 at a Microsoft sales meeting in New York City. At the time, she was a product manager and he was the company’s CEO. They got engaged in 1993 and married the following year. The couple, who also share 25-year-old son Rory, divorced in 2021 after 27 years of marriage.

Melinda is reportedly dating 48-year-old tech entrepreneur Philip Vaughn, while Bill, 69, has confirmed he is in a relationship with Paula Hurd, the 69-year-old widow of former Oracle CEO Mark Hurd.