Moving to America with children isn't always golden

My younger brother, a successful businessman in real estate and construction materials in Vietnam, spent years planning his children’s future overseas. He paid for their education abroad and ensured they married there, securing their residency. He also managed their finances and our parents’ properties.

He and his wife moved to America five years ago through family sponsorship. After getting their green cards, they started a business, hired American workers, and paid high taxes to speed up citizenship.

My brother still has properties in Vietnam, so he manages his workers there remotely from America. Whenever he returns to Vietnam, he has to plan trips back to America carefully to meet residency requirements. Now, after five years, he longs to return to Vietnam. But his wife doesn’t want to leave their children and grandchildren, and this difference strains their relationship.

People ride bicycles in Brooklyn, New York. Illustration photo by Unsplash

In another case, my neighbor moved to America 15 years ago with his two children. He sold his business in Vietnam, transferred most of his money to America, and bought two nail salons for his children. After years of struggle, the family finally settled down.

However, generational and cultural gaps drove the family apart. My neighbor’s children and grandchildren were wrapped up in school and work and barely had time for family.

His limited English cut him off socially, and his wife started working at the family nail salon to stay engaged. He kept busy by helping his neighbors pick up their children from school.

Eventually, despite having green cards and financial support, they left everything to their children and moved back to Vietnam. Thankfully, they had saved some money and rental properties in Vietnam, so they adjusted financially quickly. But they look visibly aged and carry a quiet sadness.

When my child finished studying abroad and asked whether they should return to Vietnam, my wife said, "It’s your decision. But in my opinion, Vietnam is the place to be."

We often tell each other that it’s best for those over 50 to stay in Vietnam unless there’s a good reason to move. Even young people from middle-class families often finish studying abroad only to return and build careers in Vietnam.