It starts in family: Noisy children will grow up into noisy adults

July 22, 2024 | 03:26 pm PT
Ngo Tu Ngan Lawyer
Last week I was bullied by a child at a coffee shop. He kept running around the place, bumping here and there, and then deliberately into me.

Then he screamed as if he was the victim and ran back to a table where two women were chatting loudly. One of them could have been his mother, but both were indifferent to what was happening.

Without anyone stopping him, the boy continued to annoy me, even poking my back with a straw. I could only shake my head in resignation.

I was used, to the point of helplessness, to disorderly children and noisy crowds of adults.

The world is probably also used to how some Vietnamese people are messy and noisy in public and at tourist attractions.

When noise is taken out of private space and brought into the public, there is a risk of noise pollution. Statistics from the HCMC Department of Natural Resources and Environment partly reflect this situation.

In 2022 there were 8,679 cases of urban noise violations, with fines totaling more than VND420 million being slapped in 135 cases. The offenders in the other cases were let off with a warning.

In the first eight months of 2023, the city's information portal, 1022, received 11,115 complaints about noise.

On average, the number increased by 1.4 times on weekends and between 10:00 p.m. and 6:00 a.m., and shot up between 6:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.

Adults and children are seen at a water park in Hanoi in May 2023. Photo by VnExpress/Pham Chieu

Adults and children are seen at a water park in Hanoi in May 2023. Photo by VnExpress/Pham Chieu

There are laws and sanctions, but fights, and even murders, still occur due to noise-related conflicts. If every person were to be aware of the importance of respecting public spaces and not letting the noise they make affect others, there will be less fighting over this.

Many solutions have been proposed to raise public awareness and resolve this problem.

However, I want to emphasize the importance of individual consciousness as a crucial part of behavioral culture. This awareness is a result of the education process, which begins with education within the family.

The role model element here is very necessary since it is difficult for boisterous parents to teach their children how to behave appropriately in public.

One time I was waiting to check in at a resort.

Sitting next to my table was a family with several children, the oldest being around 10. They chased each other about loudly though the staff reminded them several times. Before I could get used to the noise of the children, I was startled by the mother yelling loudly: "Ti, do you want to pee?"

The whole lobby looked up, forced to listen to a bathroom discussion between mother and son.

I encounter things like this every day in public places, and I wonder how adults who are not aware of the minimum etiquette in public places can educate their children.

Of course, I also meet polite children and parents. They enter the elevator, greet people standing inside, take off their backpacks and hold them in their hands to save space and avoid brushing against others, and stand quietly. Then there are children who cry in the elevator because they don't want to go to school, and their parents immediately apologize to everyone. I think it is an excellent way to set an example for and inculcate good habits in children.

Family is an important part of a child's education because children learn first from their parents. And if they are not taught by family, they will be taught lessons by life.

I often endure noisy children, partly because I find it is futile to stop them, partly because I am afraid of comments from their parents such as "why do you have to be so strict with innocent children?"

It is true that children may be innocent and do not know how to behave yet, but adults must understand one simple thing: noisy children, without being educated, will grow up into a generation of noisy adults.

*Ngo Tu Ngan is a lawyer.

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