Residing at my in-laws’ home leaves me feeling suffocated

By Trung Kien   March 27, 2024 | 06:20 pm PT
The lack of ownership over the property, dealing with a cramped living space, and witnessing my mother-in-law’s affection being almost solely directed towards her daughter all contribute to my feeling of suffocation.

At 40, being married, I’ve resided in my spouse’s home since 2012. My parental home is situated 30 kilometers away. Although my parents reside independently, their dwelling is quite compact, insufficient to accommodate both my spouse and me.

My wife operates a home-based business, generating approximately VND15 million (US$605) monthly, whereas my earnings are about VND30 million. My expenditures, including meals and commuting costs, total around VND7 million. Consequently, I allocate VND20 million to my wife monthly and retain the remainder for my personal affairs.

The atmosphere at my wife’s place progressively becomes more constricting, as my mother-in-law consistently shows a preference for her daughter. In addition, I lack a feeling of ownership over the home, and the space is extremely limited.

Situated on a principal street, the property’s ownership has been transferred exclusively to my wife by my in-laws. I proposed that my in-laws consider selling the property to purchase a larger one, still under my wife’s name, which could potentially leave us with VND5 billion in surplus, or to lease it out so my wife could generate a steady income without the strenuous effort her business demands. Unfortunately, my suggestions were met with no agreement.

Another problem is that my in-laws, who receive a monthly pension of roughly VND14 million, choose to allocate a portion of it to my brother-in-law’s family rather than contribute towards the living expenses shared with my wife and me. This often leads to my wife voicing concerns about the insufficiency of funds for our expenditures, adding to the mental burden I have been bearing.

Faced with these circumstances, I am at a crossroads about what steps to take next. Can you give me some advice?

go to top