My wife ready to sell house or divorce for children’s overseas education

By Bui Trung   February 16, 2024 | 10:18 pm PT
Upon hearing the annual overseas education cost of VND300 million (US$12,227), my wife is adamant about our children studying abroad, even if it necessitates selling our house or divorcing to secure the funds.

We are both employed at state-owned institutions, earning a fixed income, and have two high school-aged children. My wife recently expressed her intention to send our children to Germany for their studies, a plan that filled me with both happiness and concern due to our financial constraints.

In her quest to make this happen, My wife has urged me to take on additional work. Despite my efforts to discuss our financial reality with her, she dismisses my concerns as negativity. She remains firm in her resolve, stating: "I will send our children to study abroad no matter what, even if it means selling the house or divorcing to take my share of the money so our children can go."

This stance, coupled with her willingness to live in a rental for the sake of our children’s education abroad, has left me shocked and questioning her realism.

Our house is our sole significant asset, and the idea of selling it is something I cannot support, especially since it is jointly owned. My concern also extends to the possibility of my wife being misled, as her urgency and daily pressure to sell the house for preparatory funds seem unfounded.

I am particularly apprehensive about our son’s aspirations to study abroad, considering his average academic performance and lack of German language proficiency, a prerequisite for enrollment at German universities. However, his eagerness, fueled by my wife’s statements, to sell the house for his education abroad mirrors her intensity.

Seeing the varied successes and failures of acquaintances who have studied abroad has only increased my hesitation. Should my wife’s insistence escalate further, I am considering the option of divorce and using half of our shared assets to purchase a smaller house for our daughter’s future, preferring separation over succumbing to my wife’s demands. Yet, my preference is to dissuade her from this plan, although I am unsure of the approach to take.

What should I do now?

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