My wife and I argue a lot after buying car

By Huyen Ngoc   August 14, 2023 | 05:00 pm PT
We got married in 2015 after five years of dating. We have two kids, a seven-year-old daughter and a two-year-old son.

I’m 44 and my wife is 36. She quit her job and has been staying home to take care of our kids since we welcomed our second child. We are a family with normal income, with my monthly salary ranging between VND10 million to VND25 million ($421-$1,053), depending on my performances.

We live in HCMC’s neighboring province of Binh Duong while I work in HCMC, so I travel a total of around 60 kilometers every day to reach my workplace and then back home. I have suffered from back pain because of that.

I bought a used car for VND280 million three months ago, and the money was wholly from my savings. My wife approved of the decision when I told her. I also drive her and our kids to different places, from supermarkets to our relatives’ houses, almost every weekend. Still, my wife complains about me never taking her and the kids anywhere a lot.

Our discord peaked when I offered to drive my neighbors to their relative’s house in the southeastern province of Binh Phuoc, which is located about 80 kilometers away from our house. I wanted to do so as I also know that relative of theirs, and I thought I could drop them a visit and sleep there overnight before taking our neighbors back.

But my wife showed her disapproval. She said in a serious manner, not jokingly: "If you want to go, bring the kids with you. You run away with the car when you are about to take me somewhere, do you think that’s fine?"

The neighbors then turned down my offer, despite being happy that I could take them to their relative’s house at first. That made me mad, and I swore at my wife. She then said we should divorce.

That was the first time she said so.

I have always tried to think of my wife’s advantages to maintain our marriage, though she has made me embarrassed many times.

For example, there was one time when she asked me to call our kids, who were staying at a neighbor’s house, home to have dinner. As I did not know exactly which house they were at, I searched for them in every house. I reached a house in which some of our neighbors were drinking before finding the kids, so I joined them, thinking that I would sit for around 15 to 20 minutes before continuing my search for the kids.

But then my wife stood in front of the house where we were drinking and called for me in a loud voice, making me really embarrassed.

Though I was mad, I still thought of good things she did in order not to argue with her.

What should I do now?

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