My son owns a house but wants us to sell ours to pay his debts

My husband and I, both 63, reside in Binh Phuoc province in the Southeast region. We own a house and a small garden where we cultivate seven long-standing durian trees, yielding over VND100 million (US$3,930) per year. I also raise chickens and cultivate vegetables and fruits like bananas and jackfruit for additional income.

Both my husband and I are in good health, which allows us to work and manage our lives without needing assistance from our three children, all of whom are married and live independently.

Our middle son, who resides in HCMC, borrowed VND700 million last year to purchase a house. This year, his business failed, and he accrued an additional debt of VND800 million, totaling more than VND1.5 billion. He asked us and his siblings for a loan to help pay some of it off, but no one could assist.

Now, facing business challenges, overwhelming interest payments, and the financial pressure to support his family, he suggested that we sell the house we live in, which is valued at VND3 billion, and lend him VND1.6 billion to settle his debts. He proposed that the remainder would go into a savings account for us. In return, we would move to HCMC to live with him in our old age, and he would take care of us.

My husband, I, and our other children all opposed his idea. We all insisted that whoever incurred the debt should resolve it themselves. If selling property was necessary, he should sell his own house instead of ours.

In response, my son argued that his house in HCMC would appreciate greatly in value, and selling it would mean losing the chance to ever own it again, forcing him and his children to rent for life. Meanwhile, he reasoned that we would eventually need to be near our children as we age.

Neither my husband nor I wants to live with our son. Our daughter-in-law does not like this idea either, so I opposed selling our house. However, I have to admit that my son’s justifications make sense to a certain extent. And although I am reluctant to sell our house and move in with his family, I deeply wish to help my son secure stable housing in HCMC.

What should I do now?