My parents keep pressuring me to get married

By Quynh   February 20, 2023 | 03:35 pm PT
I am a 30-year-old woman from central Vietnam and I live and work in Ho Chi Minh City. Every time I go home for Tet, my family and relatives keep asking me about marriage.

This Lunar New Year holidays (Tet), I was really stressed out since everyone in my family was overreacting. My mother thinks that since this year I am already 30 years old, I have reached the age limit to get marriage.

They think if I am older, it would be difficult to get married and have a baby. If I do have a baby, my child would be less intelligent and prone to body deformities.

To my mom and my family members, getting married is a must, a precondition for happiness. They think that if I don’t get married I will not have a happy life, and that an unmarried life is not worth living. They worry that if I don’t have children, no one will take care of me when I get older.

And that if I don’t get married, our neighbors will comment that I am just not good enough for anyone to be interested in. For such reasons, my parents pressure me to get married and have children this year.

They even introduced me to some single men who live close to my home. My mother wants me to marry someone who lives nearby so we don’t have to travel much.

I know my family is concerned about my future, but I am also angry at their thinking. To me, happiness is to be able to experience and do what I love, and not being dependent on having a husband.

Currently, I don’t want to get married since I haven’t found a suitable partner, and I definitely do not want an arranged marriage. If I find a suitable person, I will get married and I won’t care how old I am or how old he is.

In case I can’t find such a person, I will be ready to lead a single life without worries. I don’t care what others think of me if I don’t get married, as long as my parents understand.

I set a financial plan for my old age, whether I have children or not. If I do have children, I would not demand them to take care of me since the future is unpredictable. This does not mean that I would not care for my parents.

Currently, I am doing the best I can so my parents can have a good life. When I express my views, my family members disagree and think that my way of thinking is distorted by the complicated city environment.

My mother wants me to quit my job in Saigon and find a stable job in my hometown, and get married and have children. I am really tired when my family keeps pressuring me like this, although I try to express all my views clearly. What should I do in this situation?

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