My married boss is on my mind

By Quyen   March 7, 2023 | 06:17 pm PT
I’m almost 40 years old. I got divorced nearly 4 years ago and I don’t have any children.

As the pain from the divorce subsides, I want to find a new life partner. Through online dating, I found a few people to communicate with.

After a few months of texting back and forth, I met some people face-to-face, but I was disappointed. Some people are only looking for sexual partners. Frustrated, I decided to stop dating online and continue with my single life.

Then I met my boss. We first saw each other on the opening day of our new headquarters. When I glanced at him, I realized that he was looking at me too, as if we had known each other for ages.

In the following days and weeks we ran into each other many times at the office, even though we don’t work on the same floor.

On Oct. 20th, Vietnamese women's day, he congratulated me on behalf of my male colleagues. He said it was the first time doing something like that for the special day, and it was also the first time we fully introduced ourselves and I learned his name and position in the company.

I had thought he was just a normal office worker, but he was actually the deputy director of the branch.

I soon realized that he was trying to get my attention. Once, when there were only the two of us in the elevator, he knocked on the elevator wall lightly as if signifying something, but I kept silent.

Later, I searched for information about him on the internet and found out that he is married, so I decided to stop paying attention.

However, on our company’s last teambuilding trip, I once again began noticing him. My co-worker told me that he had a son, but that no one knows much about his wife.

At the teambuilding party, I saw him hanging near my table, but he kept silent. The next morning, when everyone was having breakfast, he came a bit late and took a seat next to me.

However, he did something that made me feel a bit down - he called me "chi" (older sister).

When everyone went out for coffee, he also approached me and told the waiter to put his drink next to mine. However, later, his staff sat across the room, so he joined them and we didn’t have time to talk.

I must add that he and I are in different departments. He’s in the business department and I’m in the operation department – so although we continue to run into each other somewhat regularly, there still aren’t may chances for us to interact directly.

But recently, when I see him, we seem to have broken the ice between us. He usually greets me first and I also greet him back with a smile.

I don't know what I should do with my feelings now. I genuinely believe that a relationship between he and I will go nowhere. I have to add that he is very handsome, tall, and stylish. He can easily get a better woman - someone younger and more beautiful.

Therefore, I’ve decided to ignore him again. And yet when I do avoid him, I feel increasingly conflicted.

What should I do with my emotions?

I hope you can give me some advice, and thank you so much for reading my story.

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