I’m torn about a handsome, well-off divorcé

By Thao Nhi   February 18, 2024 | 06:40 pm PT
My parents have introduced me to a man who is divorced, has a son, and hails from a well-to-do family with a stable house, vehicle, and assets totaling VND10 billion (US$407,664).

I am a 35-year-old woman who has lived alone in Ho Chi Minh City for nearly 17 years. Self-employed, I managed to buy a house in 2017. However, my business has not been faring well in recent years, and my capital is depleted, but I am still debt-free. My house stands as my sole asset, and my current income barely covers my personal living expenses.

Previously indifferent to marriage, the passage of time has heightened my sense of loneliness and vulnerability, igniting a yearning for family affection. I currently feel that my energy is low, complicating any attempt to change my situation. Loneliness engulfs me at night, and I often find myself in tears.

In terms of appearance and communication skills, I believe I fare well. However, my introverted nature means my social interactions are largely limited to work-related contexts, making it challenging to share and balance my emotions.

Originating from the North, where my parents still reside and where business opportunities have recently been more favorable thanks to industrial zones and rapidly developing infrastructure, my parents wish for me to consider moving back. They have suggested this man, who has shown a keen interest in me, even frequently visiting my mother to express his intentions for marriage. My parents also promise business support should I marry him.

Given my parents’ advancing age and my economic struggles in Ho Chi Minh City, I feel a strong responsibility towards them, being the closest among my siblings. Yet, I hesitate due to the man’s previous divorce. It puzzles me why his ex-wife left him, given his financial stability, attractiveness, and eloquence. These factors lead me to question his character.

I have attempted to forge relationships with two men, hoping to find a life partner, but for various reasons, these did not last. Both were single, educated, had stable jobs, and were kind, gentle, and honest. However, the emotional connection felt tepid, prompting me to withdraw.

Despite this, I remained somewhat attached to my past relationships, which led to feelings of hurt after each ended and a reluctance to engage with new people.

Also, deep down, I still desire to give Ho Chi Minh City another chance, as I cherish the comfortable lifestyle, the agreeable weather, and the streets brimming with both happy and sad memories of my youth.

Hence, I’ve contemplated staying in Ho Chi Minh City for a few more years to see if I can stabilize my financial situation. If my income becomes stable, I would consider embracing single motherhood and supporting my parents in their old age.

Because of these concerns, I find myself uncertain whether to return to my northern roots or continue my life in Ho Chi Minh City.

What do you think of my dilemma? What should I do?

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