I’m still poor despite married to a rich foreign man

By Thuy Mai   November 13, 2023 | 06:41 pm PT
I’m 36, just relocated to my foreign husband’s country, and am still waiting for my residential permit so that I can apply for a job.

I used to have a financially stable life in Vietnam since my monthly income ranged between VND30-45 million ($1,233-1,850). With that income I was able to buy whatever I wanted and brought my parents on occasional recreational trips.

I immigrated to my husband’s country with an immigrant visa for a spouse, so I’m waiting for my residential permit and thus, have to stay at home instead of doing a job until then.

My husband is wealthy but I don’t like how I’m having to rely on him for everything, from waiting for him to drive me with his car whenever I want to go somewhere, to relying on him to get my immigrant status sponsored. I want to regain my independent life.

My husband has a child with a former girlfriend, though they never got married. His kid has just moved out and does not depend on him financially.

However, my husband and I signed an agreement which stated that if anything bad happened to my husband, his properties would go to his kid instead of me.

I did not marry my husband for money or for a chance to relocate to his country, so I signed it without any doubts.

However, now that I think about it again, I have changed my mind, as even if I stay with my husband for a decade or a lifetime, I will not get anything from him. That’s unfair.

I talked to my husband about this. He and his kid promised me that I will be taken care of by his kid if any bad thingshappened to him, and I trust them. Still, the feeling of being dependent on others makes me insecure.

I also have some other problems with my husband. Since he is a wealthy and high-profile figure here, he will not allow me to work as a staff at a restaurant or a manicure store, which are occupations that are easy to apply and can bring good money. And my husband is not so generous with his spending money either.

I don’t know if I’m just overthinking or there are indeed problems. But on the one hand, I feel insecure with my current life.

On the other hand, I don’t want to return to Vietnam since living here allows me to have a better life. I think I have good relationships with my husband and his kid as well.

What should I do?

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