I want to be a single mom

By Mai Hoa   May 17, 2023 | 07:44 pm PT
I’m 28 years old. I’m currently under extreme stress and suspect I’m suffering from antenatal depression.

I’m from the countryside and moved to Saigon to study. I was once in a very passionate relationship during my time as a university student. Both families knew about us.

One day, I found out he was cheating with a coworker and they even went traveling together. I made a big deal out of this to his family, but hid everything from my own because I didn’t want to worry my parents.

My faith in him was completely shattered; I was wondering why we never went traveling anywhere together even though we had been dating for about six years.

I was full of resentment and cried a lot. I couldn’t focus on anything else. We broke up but I still maintained a good relationship with his mom and aunt.

After over a year of no contact, he initiated new conversations with me. Initially, I only wanted to be there for him as his friend and nothing more, but over time, we got back together as I thought he had started to care about me again.

In retrospect, I might have been too naive and should have stood my ground. As fate would have it, I got pregnant just as he was sent abroad for work.

He told me he would send us money and he recently sent us VND2.5 million (about $100), just enough for a medical checkup. When I sent him the bill, I realized he is extremely tight. He also constantly tells me to work hard to pull my weight.

His mother is very kind but also very nosy. She has also asked me to lend her money many times, anything from VND500,000 to VND1 million, but I never ask for it back. She doesn’t dare ask her son because of their strained relationship. I hid this from him.

My boyfriend also has a rich aunt. I thought she was kind at first as she sometimes gave me things. But after finding out I was pregnant, she has started asking me to help her with chores, like feeding the dog or taking care of it when it is sick.

She says it is because I am now part of the family and no longer an outsider. I find this extremely bothersome but have no idea how to refuse.

I know they would never understand if I told them I want to have this child on my own. I cry a lot, wondering why I have to suffer this fate.

Now that I’m pregnant, I plan to go back home and tell my family, but everyone told me that I must get married immediately as my parents would be extremely disappointed if they found out I bore a child out of wedlock.

I just spoke with my boyfriend, and he told me would try to come back to register the marriage. I honestly don’t want to have anything to do with his family. I just want to go back to my hometown and raise my child on my own.

I keep crying just thinking about this, even though I know it’s not good for the baby. I hope people can give me some advice.

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