Is my husband gay?

By Bao Anh   March 22, 2023 | 07:41 pm PT
My husband is a gentle man and an amazing father, but he keeps secrets from me and acts in ways that make me suspect that he likes men.

We have been married for 15 years and have two daughters, aged 10 and 8. My husband is an independent singer.

When we first started dating, he regularly put on heavy makeup and dressed as a woman while performing, but I had zero suspicion.

Because I knew that offstage, he’s a strict, meticulous and caring man to me. Even though our sex life isn’t too passionate, we do have regular sex.

However, after giving birth to our second child, I began to feel the distance between us and couldn’t understand my husband.

He refused to accept my friend request on Facebook. On his timeline, his profile picture was him dressing up as a woman while performing.

In the comment section, his colleagues kept calling him "mother". I never went through his phone but sometimes, I caught him smiling while texting somebody, like he was in love.

When online shopping became popular, he started ordering makeup, skincare and hair products much more frequently than before.

When I asked him about it, he told me they were for his performances because he didn’t want to waste money hiring makeup artists.

He likes going to parties every month, usually with his male colleagues. I once asked to go with him but he said: "You have never gone with me before so why the sudden change?"

We have always been financially independent from each other. He pays for our elder daughter’s education while I pay for our younger’s.

He pays for electricity while I pay for groceries. I realized that I wouldn’t know if he had his own personal fund. I also have no way of knowing who he meets or what he does either.

More importantly, I have started to realize that now everything he does seems to come only from a sense of responsibility.

I don’t know if I’m overthinking, or being too judgmental about his work and friends, or if he’s really gay.

What should I do?

go to top