I regret my fight over an affair

By Hong   May 5, 2023 | 07:00 pm PT
I’m a 42-year-old single mom living in Hanoi with 2 children. I divorced my husband three years ago.

My husband and I studied at the same high school in the northern midland. During our university life, we chanced upon each other when attending a friend’s birthday party.

He actively flirted with me in a very gallant manner, even inviting me to ride with him because of how dark the night was. We started to have feelings for each other that night.

I married him when I was 27 years old – when both of our careers were at a stable point. The first few years, we weren’t rich, but we were happy, and we were together all the time. When our kids were born, one boy and one girl, I thought our life would just continue smoothly.

Then everything changed when my husband was promoted at work. He got more money and connections, but he also had to meet a lot of clients. He spent only a few hours at home, and it was usually for sleep. His family and housework, he just no longer cared about that.

Then my husband got a mistress. I sent someone to investigate and found out that it was a young girl, barely a decade older than my firstborn. Young, stylish, and someone who knew how to make men fawn over her. That is what I knew about her.

With my hot temper, I devised a plan to fight this "side chick" with what I learned from the net. "How could I lose to a young girl," I reasoned to myself. And this line of thought strengthened my resolve.

After some careful planning, I found my way to the mistress’s house with the intent to warn and threaten her. I don’t know how, but my husband had foreseen this and was waiting for me. After a bit argument, I tried hitting that woman but was stopped by my husband, the one that’s been together with me all these years.

He slapped me twice, and said: "Are you trying to make a scene? How is an old woman comparable to a young girl?" His words made my heart bleed, I stood there sobbing, while that woman just laughed.

I filed for divorce, which my husband approved, and I took custody of the children. The most painful thing was how rumors of my fight spread to work and my children’s school.

They were too ashamed and didn’t want to study any longer, even my eldest daughter was contemplating suicide because of how badly she was bullied because of this. I sought help from therapists to save the three of us from that difficult time.

Our life is slowly becoming more stable, my kids have a normal school life, and I heard that my husband ditched his mistress. But every time I am reminded of that time, I feel bad – not for me, but for my kids.

I once blamed myself, asking why did I try to start a fight over an affair, ruining my reputation and making my kids’ life more difficult. If I was given the choice, I wouldn’t have done that.

"Is it worthwhile to bring pain to your flesh and blood, just to satisfy your anger," my therapist asked me. I want to send this message to any souls out there who have suffered a similar pain.

 
 
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