My husband wants me to quit my job to care for his parents

By Lan Chi   August 18, 2024 | 05:20 pm PT
My husband has expressed his desire for me to leave my employment to focus on taking care of our children and his elderly parents, promising to provide financial support in return.

Both my husband and I previously held office jobs with moderate incomes. My husband then ventured into real estate brokerage part-time, supplementing our earnings. Two years ago, he left his office job to pursue real estate full-time. Recently, the real estate market in Hanoi and surrounding regions has flourished, increasing his workload and income. Meanwhile, I currently earn VND15 million (US$599) monthly.

We recently upgraded our living situation by selling our previous house, purchasing a larger one, renovating it, and adding an extra bedroom. Now, my husband plans to have his parents, who are both over 80, move in with us, wanting me to take care of them. He said he made the decision as he is the only son and his sisters live far away and do not plan to return to their hometown.

He shared his decision without seeking my opinion, dismissing any attempts I made to discuss it. My job is over 10 km from our home, often preventing me from picking up our children on time, requiring my husband’s occasional assistance. He previously suggested I find employment closer to home, but I have yet to find a suitable option and prefer to keep my current job due to its favorable work environment.

Recently, my husband insisted I resign from my job and not seek another, as he had discussed with his parents their relocation and the sale of their home. When I inquired why he hadn’t consulted me, he replied that his decisions are final, regardless of any discussion, and assured me of his financial support. He minimized the importance of my job, citing its low income and inconvenient distance.

Frustrated by his disregard for my perspective, I argued that caring for our children and his parents should be a shared responsibility. Our disagreement has resulted in ongoing tension. I am now unsure of how to proceed and am seeking advice.

What should I do?

 
 
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