My husband doesn’t consider in-laws family

By Bao Yen   May 8, 2024 | 05:18 pm PT
I am deeply saddened by the realization that my husband doesn’t seem to value or care about my parents.

Both my husband and I work in office jobs. Our families share farming backgrounds, and my family has faced hardships as my mother passed away early, and my father is ill and unable to do heavy labor. We both work and send money home every month to support our parents with medicine and living expenses.

However, my husband is primarily focused on supporting his own family, not just his parents but also his sister and even his cousins. Whenever it’s my mother’s death anniversary, he always uses work as an excuse to avoid attending the memorial, making me feel that he doesn’t treat my family with the same regard as he does his own.

I have no objections to my parents-in-law receiving my husband’s financial support, but his siblings have high monthly incomes yet still accept money from him. This makes me extremely frustrated, especially since my husband and I are not overly wealthy, and our office jobs just provide a relatively above-average income.

I’m also upset that my husband never voluntarily gives my father any money or even calls to check on him, while I call my in-laws every week to ask how they’re doing. When I raised this issue with him, my husband replied that said sons-in-law are not as responsible for taking care of both sides of the family as daughters-in-law, leaving me at a loss for words.

My parents-in-law also don’t value my father and criticize his accent as being hard to understand. Whenever my father calls, my mother-in-law deflects the call to my father-in-law, saying she can’t understand what my father says.

On one occasion, when my mother-in-law was hospitalized, my father called to check up on her health. After a few sentences, she made up an excuse and hung up. My father recounted the incident to me, and I felt incredibly sad but tried to encourage him nonetheless.

I’ve endured a tough life, so I deeply appreciate my family and everything I have. Because of that, although I know life isn’t perfect, I can’t help but feel sad.

Am I being too harsh with my in-laws and husband?

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