My ex-girlfriend borrows $39K from the bank to help me buy a house

My parents own a small business in the countryside, which has struggled due to stiff competition. They resorted to gambling and taking out high-interest loans, eventually forcing them to sell their home and move frequently to manage their growing debts. As they aged, I bought them a small house and now send money monthly to help them manage these debts.

My two younger siblings have followed a similar path, gambling and accruing significant debts, which they shuffle from one lender to another. This led to violent threats from loan sharks, and in a state of panic and confusion, my mother signed a promissory note. We’ve been saddled with exorbitant interest payments since.

One sibling fled the country for work but soon fell seriously ill, prompting me to arrange an emergency flight home. The stress took its toll on my mother, who suffered a stroke and required a month-long hospitalization. I assumed responsibility for over VND1 billion of my sibling’s debts and decided to sever ties with my increasingly toxic family, though I still send money to support my parents out of a sense of duty.

During these trials, my ex-girlfriend was a pillar of support, her kind and intriguing personality providing comfort and encouragement. Of all my relationships, I felt the happiest with her. Yet, as work pressures mounted, I neglected her emotional needs. While she believed that happiness was a journey taken together, longing for shared experiences in even the smallest moments of life, I overlooked her desires, consumed by work and leaving her isolated. Her attempts to discuss her feelings were met with my indifference, eroding our relationship until she could no longer bear the disappointment.

I never intended to take our relationship for granted, and I was driven by a vision of our future together. My family’s dysfunction propelled me to secure a stable life. I was absorbed in my business, seizing every opportunity. When my ex-girlfriend complained of work pressures, I cavalierly promised to handle everything so she could rest, not realizing she needed my presence, not just my provisions. Eventually, her patience wore thin, and after four years together, she ended our relationship.

Initially, I blamed her for being heartless, suspecting she might be seeing someone else. I pleaded for her to return, but she steadfastly refused. Over time, reflection led me to recognize my own faults. Rather than longing for reconciliation, I began to improve myself—focusing on my health, adopting a new mindset, and striving to be more empathetic.

Since our breakup, I’ve transformed significantly. I’ve slowed down, appreciating life’s smaller joys and learning to forgive myself for my past indifference, which cost me a profound love. My ex-girlfriend and I maintained daily contact, and as my career advanced, I invested in property. When a prime deal arose but funds were short, she generously offered the loan.

I’ve hinted at my lingering feelings, to which she responds with a smile, acknowledging her desirability. I’ve continued to show care, reminding her to look after her health and gifting her items she enjoys. In gratitude for her help, I purchased shoes she had long admired. Recently, we’ve started hiking together, fulfilling a past wish of hers. These moments bring peace and a tinge of regret over what might have been.

I know that she now views me strictly as a friend, while I continue to harbor deeper feelings. We plan to travel abroad soon with friends, and I’m uncertain about the future of my emotions. My friends advise me to let go, asserting that enough efforts have been made. They believe if she still had feelings, she would have returned by now and suggest I should move on and start anew. Yet, I find myself reluctant to pursue anyone else.

What should I do?