I prefer saving for nursing home over leaving inheritance for my children

Whether the elderly should or should not enter a nursing home is quite a controversial topic. Our society has traditionally believed that "children rely on their parents, and the elderly depend on their children," meaning children has the obligation of caring for elderly parents, and failing to do so is seen as unfilial. However, is this mindset still relevant today?

I am over 50 years old, retired, and currently live with my son's family. Despite living with them, I spend most of my day alone at home. My son and his wife work from early morning until late at night, and the kids attend school and extra language classes in the evening. As a result, I often find myself wandering around the house throughout the day, with few elderly neighbors to talk to.

I anticipated this situation about a decade ago, so I began preparing both financially and mentally for the possibility of entering a nursing home as I age. Initially, my children opposed this idea, wanting to care for me themselves.

However, they have their own jobs and lives, making it impossible for them to be by my side at all times. Moreover, the lifestyle and mindset of our two generations differ significantly, leading to inevitable clashes and conflicts.

In Vietnam, many people believe that children have a duty to support their elderly parents, viewing it as a mark of filial piety. However, I do not share this perspective. Society has evolved, and we have been exposed to modern practices. Therefore, we should not cling to outdated beliefs that no longer align with contemporary life.

My children are busy all day and when they return home, they need to rest and cannot dedicate all their remaining energy to caring for their elderly parents. I also fear that in a few years, I may start to become forgetful and irritable, which would burden my children and grandchildren and put them in uncomfortable situations.

With this mindset, I have managed to save a substantial amount of money for my retirement. I have told my children that I will not give an inheritance for them and will use all that money for my old age to ensure I do not trouble them. My children have stable jobs and incomes, so they do not worry about inheritance.

Moreover, at this age, food and expenses are not significant because what we need most is companionship, conversation, and professional medical care. A nursing home may meet all these needs. In fact, is being alone at home all day truly more enjoyable than living among people who are similar to you?

If you think about it this way, you will no longer feel troubled or hesitant about whether or not to enter a nursing home.

When I turn 60, I will officially move into a nursing home and will take care of all my expenses myself. If my children truly love me, they will visit me often. If not, even if I stay at home, they will not care for me. When I miss home too much, I can also come back for a few days. Such a life will be much easier for both the elderly and the young. This practice has been adopted worldwide for a long time. If we want to keep up with the times, perhaps we should start changing now.

Would you rather save money for your retirement or leave an inheritance for your children?

*This opinion was translated into English with the assistance of AI. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.