If you're in the mood for love, you won't have far to look.

1.     Cheap hotels

Nothing says romance like a free toothbrush and a pink bar of soap. Lovers can reliably find their own private heavens here for a lean $2.50 (per hour). So you never have to worry about waking up your parents.

2.     The traffic

Hear us out. The gridlock, frustration and danger of trying to push a personal vehicle through a wall of 250,000 motorized Vietnamese people will teach you a thing or two about patience. And patience is the most essential virtue for anyone considering a romantic relationship, buster.

3.     The weather

It’s pretty much always too hot or too rainy to ever go outside or stand still. That means lots of time spent indoors or on a motorbike—even with people you’re just getting to know. Love happens fast out here, boyeeeee.

4.     Aphrodisiacs are everywhere

Seafood. Goat tits. Durian. (Psst. Durian works, dude.)

5.     Matchmakers

They’re everywhere! Literally every person you meet will want to know, right away, if you’re taken. If not, they’ll run you through a list of eligible partners. If you're lonely in Vietnam, it’s probably because you refuse to leave your apartment.