Parents should not treat their children like investments

One evening at a small café, I overheard two middle-aged fathers discussing their children. One complained that his son, an average student, had yet to find stable work after graduation. The other nodded in understanding, sharing how he and his wife had spared no expense on their child's education—international schools, studying abroad—only for their son to land a regular job with a salary barely covering his expenses.

A stressed student leans on a table. Illustration photo by Pexels

"Guess my investment failed," he sighed. "Spent billions on the kid, should've bought land instead."

His friend agreed. "At least with property, even if it loses value, you can still rent it out."

I've heard something like this before from one of my neighbors, who snapped at her child, "I should've laid an egg instead of you."

Another neighbor's son had a similar story. Now 30, he drifted between jobs after university, quitting each after a few months. His family then sent him to Australia for further study, hoping he would find direction or a job there. But when he returned, nothing changed. He still would not stick to a job. Every morning, I would see him jogging, going to the gym, and living as if he did not need to work.

Even though his family was wealthy, his parents argue about the money spent on his education all the time. And yet, I never once heard them ask their child, "What do you actually want?"

Many parents today view their children as life's biggest investment. They did and paid everything they could, hoping their child will get top scores, land a high-paying job, and eventually repay them. Some expect financial support in old age; others seek a boost the family's reputation.

But when children fail to meet these expectations, they are seen as failed investments. Is that really the case?

First, why do we raise children? If the goal is wealth or social standing, then their success can be measured in wins and losses, just like any investment. But if the goal is to nurture a kind, responsible, and happy person, then a child's worth can't be reduced to their salary or achievements.

Is a person a failure just because they do not have a flashy career, even if they live honestly, love their family, and lead a peaceful life?

Ironically, many high-achieving children grow distant from their parents. They might earn well but rarely visit—or worse, see their parents as burdens. Meanwhile, some children never become "successful" in society's eyes but care for their parents with love and kindness. If parents had to choose, which kind of child would they prefer?

The pressure to be a "good investment" is crushing. Many children grow up anxious, stressed, and even depressed as they struggle to meet expectations they never agreed to. It is painful enough to feel like a failure in society's eyes—but when your own family sees you that way, it cuts the deepest.

Maybe instead of treating children as investments, parents should see them as individuals to love and guide—not with success measured in future salaries or social status, but in the kind of person they become and the life they build.

Watching a child grow into a loving, responsible person is the most valuable return any parent can receive.