My son spent his entire 11th birthday party glued to his phone

His 11th birthday should have been filled with laughter, wishes, and hugs. But all I remember is him bowing to that small screen, ignoring messages, photos, and the party itself, to play games.

I had spent days planning fun activities for him, and his family and friends were all there. Yet he paid attention to nothing but the glowing rectangle in his hands. Watching him, and the people trying to draw him into the party, I felt an overwhelming sense of heaviness.

I am not against technology. I understand it is an essential part of modern life. But when it replaces the joy of family gatherings, it crosses into obsession.

A boy looks at a mobile phone screen. Photo by Unsplash/phyo min

My son started using a cell phone for entertainment around age four. At the time, I thought it was important for him to get familiar with technology early. But gradually, it became indispensable. Without it, he grows nervous and irritated.

I had hoped he would eventually learn balance. But the opposite happened. For many recent birthdays, instead of celebrating with his loving family, he retreated into a digital world, uninterested in blowing out candles or opening gifts.

Some say children today are born with technology and parents must accept it. I cannot accept that my son finds no joy in family moments, cannot hold a long conversation with his grandparents, or sit through a family meal without his phone.

I fear a future in which he cannot feel happiness without a screen. I worry that he may lose basic life skills—conversation, empathy, understanding others—things a phone cannot teach.

We adults are not blameless. Children do not discover the cell phone on their own; we give it to them, often without thinking. I used to hand my son the phone while cooking or resting, thinking, "A little screen time won't hurt." But those little moments added up, creating a habit that feels impossible to break. I blame myself for not setting limits earlier, for not spending enough quality time with him.

I share my story as a wake-up call for other parents: Are we truly present for our children, and do we know where they are finding joy? I hope that at my son's 12th birthday, he can finally put his phone down and give his parents a hug, with a big smile.