I regret letting my child start learning English at 3

Like many parents, I followed this advice without much hesitation. Everyone around me believed early English exposure was an advantage, and so did I. But when my child turned three, still struggling to express thoughts and emotions clearly in Vietnamese, I began to question whether we were truly helping, or simply rushing.

At that age, my child could understand simple Vietnamese sentences but had difficulty explaining feelings or needs. Despite this, I was encouraged to enroll them in English classes immediately.

During several trial sessions at a language center, my child learned to repeat English words quickly. However, when I asked simple questions in Vietnamese such as "Do you like it?" or "Are you tired?", they could not respond. It became clear that my child was memorizing sounds rather than understanding meaning.

A woman helps a child learn words from a sheet of paper. Illustration photo by Unsplash/Jerry Wang

Introducing a second language before the first language was firmly established did not broaden their understanding of the world; instead, it caused confusion.

Around me, many families made similar choices. I recall a birthday party where two children were about the same age as my own. One had been enrolled in a bilingual program since the age of two and could confidently name colors and count in English. The adults were impressed. But when the child fell and started crying, they could not explain what hurt or what they were afraid of. The mother had to guess repeatedly.

The other child, the daughter of a close friend, followed a different path. She did not learn English early but spoke Vietnamese fluently. She could describe her day, explain her emotions, and communicate clearly with her parents. When she entered first grade and began learning English, she progressed quickly. Within a short time, she was on par with children who had studied the language since kindergarten.

Observing these two children made me reflect on the importance of timing. The issue is not whether English is necessary; it clearly is; but when it should be introduced.

For children who are still forming basic vocabulary in their mother tongue, who cannot yet articulate emotions or understand the world around them, adding another language may distract from essential development.

Language is more than a communication tool. It shapes thinking, emotions, and identity. Before children can connect with the wider world, they need to understand themselves, and that begins with their mother tongue.

In my view, allowing children to build a strong foundation in Vietnamese first does not put them behind. On the contrary, it enables them to learn other languages later with greater speed, depth, and confidence.