Hearing his company was cutting Tet bonuses, Trong, 38, halved his usual gift money for his in-laws and crossed out nearly half the gift list his wife had painstakingly compiled for their parents, siblings and friends.
"Times are tough; we should keep our gifts simple," he suggested, only for his wife to scoff at him.
During a visit to his hometown last weekend, Trong felt even more uneasy when his brother-in-law proudly revealed he had gifted their mother-in-law VND50 million (US$1,990) for Tet.
That evening dinner was silent as Trong remained quiet, feeling increasingly worthless due to his wife's complaints.
Struggling with sleepless nights and depression, he eventually sought help from psychologist Nguyen Huong Lan at the Vietnam Happiness Academy.
In the weeks before Tet calls to Lan for counseling increased by 30% from normal, with most calls pertaining to financial stress or family-related pressures.
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A woman buys tickets to return home for Tet at the My Dinh Bus Station in Hanoi. Photo by VnExpress/Pham Chieu |
Hanh, 33, is avoiding returning to her hometown altogether, fearing the endless questioning from her parents and relatives about her marriage status.
The advice she frequently received during Tet was that she needed to settle down, find someone to marry and start a family.
"I want to please my parents and get married, but love is not something I can force," she says.
Also overwhelmed by the year-end job deadlines besides being worn down by her parents' constant urging, Hanh began losing sleep and skipping meals and was eventually diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at Mai Huong Daytime Psychiatric Hospital.
Nguyen Duc Loc, a psychologist and director of the Institute for Social Life Studies, says Tet-related anxiety has become increasingly common among young adults over the past five years.
He says people above 25 are most affected, as they face heavier societal expectations about personal economic stability, job bonuses and marriage.
A 2023 VnExpress survey found 44% of respondents fearing Tet due to the high expenses that come with the holiday, 27% worried about being asked questions about job bonuses, 26% feeling stressed about being pushed to marry, and 3% concerned about having to work during Tet.
The growing stress stems from a clash between urban individualism and traditional family-centered values. Urban youth value privacy, while older relatives in rural areas view their personal questions as a manifestation of care.
But questions about bonuses, promotions, homebuilding plans, or having children stress young people.
Year-end work deadlines often add to the stress, as families face additional responsibilities like managing finances, buying gifts for both sides of the family and fulfilling social obligations.
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A family heads home for Tet on a motorbike with a lot of baggage. Photo by VnExpress/Nguyen Dong |
Psychologist Nguyen Thi Tam warns that prolonged stress can affect mental and physical health, causing blood circulation issues, liver dysfunction or even mental disorders like depression.
Lan advises people to start with emotional control and set clear goals to handle Tet-related stress.
Planning a practical budget, prioritizing essential expenses and being open with the family about financial challenges can ease tensions, she says.
Responding to intrusive questions with humor can diffuse tension, she says.
For instance, instead of avoiding questions about marriage, a playful reply can shift the conversation in a lighter direction, she points out.
Focusing on self-care activities like warm baths, reading and hobbies can boost mental health, but if negative feelings persist, seeking professional help is essential, she states.
Although the fatigue and stress experienced during Tet often diminish after the holiday, they may continue for some people and eventually develop into depression or anxiety.
Consulting a mental health professional is essential in such cases.
"Tet should be all about joy and family reunion, not burdening your family with stress. A positive outlook can make everything easier," Lan adds.