My husband won’t do housework because men’s work is harder

By Thuy Lien   June 5, 2023 | 03:00 pm PT
My husband and I are both 35 years old. I'm a teacher, and he's a technician, and we’ve been married for 10 years, with two boys in primary school.

We got married due to an unplanned pregnancy. Even though we were already dating for two years, it was a long-distance relationship filled with fights and breakups, and yet we stayed together.

After getting married, I didn't have a stable job, and my husband didn't get a job until our baby was 18 months old.

He would watch over the kids for me but refused to do any household chores. He has a habit of reading comic books and playing video games that he just can't get rid of.

He rarely helps me with chores because he says, "I do men's work and it's harder."

He doesn’t talk to me or his children much, and once he’s home he’s already lying down somewhere to read comics or play games, even after finishing his dinner, he just goes back to whatever he was doing without bothering to help me or the kids with chores and homework. The only thing he does is hang the laundry and drive the kids to school.

I have often brought up the problem of sharing household chores with him, but he either disagrees or says he’s already done his part by hanging the laundry.

One time, I told him he should clean the dishes if I am the one making meals, and he told me to not make meals for him anymore since he’ll be eating out. We stopped talking to each other for a whole week.

He rarely talks with his children when there’s a problem with them and always asks me as if it’s my fault, to the point that my parents are planning to take them so they can be taken care of.

We often argue on special days, such as my birthday or holidays, so he has never got me a gift, not even a single flower. The only thing he cares about is money to fuel his gaming hobby.

Every thought, every problem I have, I always share with my husband. I have tried to be soft, I have tried to be harsh, but he never changes.

There were times I thought about divorce but my relatives say he’s only inconsiderate, at least he hasn’t gambled, drunk alcohol, or cheated on me, so I can’t decide what to do.

I hope readers can advise me on how to improve my situation.

Thank you!

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