My boyfriend’s family underestimates my mother because she’s a housewife

By Chi   March 10, 2024 | 03:12 pm PT
My mother has dedicated herself to homemaking for over two decades, leading to my boyfriend’s parents believing that my family does not measure up to their standards.

Both my boyfriend and I are 22 years old. We started dating a year ago, yet we initially opted to keep it concealed from his family due to their disapproval of him engaging in romantic endeavors at such a young age. They were of the opinion that he should first obtain a master’s degree and embark on his career before contemplating the initiation of romantic ties.

Upon reaching the one-year mark, it became apparent that we could no longer hide our relationship from his parents, prompting us to disclose it. Initially, his mother was opposed to our union, but our resolve to remain together prompted support from his father and grandmother, ultimately leading to his mother’s provisional acceptance of us.

Nonetheless, during several dinners at my boyfriend’s residence, it became evident that his parents harbored disdain for the vocations within my family. Having pursued their education overseas, his parents now hold managerial positions at a corporation, in contrast to my family’s operation of a modest enterprise.

It was necessary for me to explain that my father is the proprietor of a furniture store and that our financial situation is stable. My mother embraced the role of a full-time homemaker after giving birth to me, devoting to the well-being of my father and her children, with my father serving as the economic pillar of our family. My father’s furniture business has recently experienced a downturn in revenue, yet it continues to sustain itself.

On one occasion, my boyfriend’s mother made a statement that women ought to preserve their dignity by consistently attending to their appearance, both internally and externally, and by ensuring financial independence to garner respect. She expressed that irrespective of the era, a woman’s choice to stay at home is deemed unsuccessful.

Those remarks deeply offended me, driving me to tears. My boyfriend suggested that I overlook the incident and refrain from dwelling on it excessively, reasoning that his mother’s comments were likely unintended as derogatory towards my family.

Heeding his counsel, I endeavored to dismiss further contemplation of the matter. Yet, another discussion ensued in my presence about a colleague’s daughter. During this conversation, my boyfriend’s father mentioned that his colleague lamented that their daughter was not dating my boyfriend, hinting at a potential perfect union between him and that girl.

This incited my anger, yet my boyfriend continued to rationalize his parents’ behavior, claiming they genuinely appreciated me and viewed me as part of their family, hence their comments.

At this stage of life, neither of us is contemplating marriage, but we are earnest about our relationship and envisage a lasting future together. Despite this, my friends suggest a separation, cautioning that integration into his family may prove challenging for someone of my disposition—gentle, reserved, and not prone to confrontation.

What do you think about my situation? What should I do now?

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