My boyfriend’s family doesn’t want to pay for our engagement ceremony

By Thanh   September 1, 2023 | 04:00 pm PT
My boyfriend and I started dating five years ago, and I am three months pregnant.

My boyfriend’s family background is somewhat complicated, as his mother passed aways since he was a child, while his father emigrated and remarried after that. My boyfriend was brought up by his grandmother, who passed away two years ago. His paternal uncles and aunts are the only relatives he has left, yet they are not too close.

We moved in together a year ago. My parents said when being notified about my pregnancy that we should immediately hold an engagement ceremony. My boyfriend agreed with that idea.

He told his father to return to Vietnam and attend the ceremony. However, my boyfriend’s father said his brother, or my boyfriend’s uncle, would hold and attend the ceremony on his behalf, as he would not have time for that.

As our big day approached, my boyfriend brought me to his uncle’s place to discuss the event. That was my first time seeing his uncle, and I can say that he didn’t like me.

He mocked me for getting a premarital pregnancy. He turned down my suggestion of hiring a 45-seater bus for my family to go from my hometown, the Mekong Delta province of Ben Tre, to HCMC.

He said his family would not prepare lunch for my family on that day, and my family would have to pay for their meals if they wanted to stay in HCMC until the afternoon, since the ceremony would take place in the morning.

I got upset after the meeting. My boyfriend comforted me, saying he would pay for my family’s bus and meals with his own money, but I still felt like my parents were not respected.

What should I do?

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