My girlfriend never pays when traveling with my family

By Hai Anh   June 6, 2024 | 08:49 pm PT
My girlfriend has joined my family for three vacations in the last year without contributing financially, which I perceive as lacking grace and tact.

I am 27 and my girlfriend is two years younger. We both come from well-off families and reside with our parents in Hanoi. Introduced by family, we have been dating for a year, and my family has grown quite fond of her, even suggesting we discuss marriage soon. However, certain behaviors of hers give me pause.

In the time we’ve been dating, she has accompanied my family on three vacations, all expenses covered by my mother. Not once has she offered to help with costs, whether for plane tickets or accommodations. Despite her family’s financial stability—her father is a company director—she hasn’t even once proposed to pay for meals or taken the initiative to cover any expenses when we’re out together.

Initially, I remained courteous, but her persistent lack of consideration has become apparent to me.

Recently, my girlfriend proposed that we move in together for a few months before marrying to test our compatibility. Facing pressure from my parents to marry and her push for cohabitation, I find myself wanting to end the relationship. Yet, given the pressure, I’m hesitant to voice this.

How can I explain to my parents that I’m weary of the relationship? What’s the best way to break up with her so as to minimize her distress or prevent her from becoming overly attached?

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