I don’t like how my mother-in-law tends to favor my child over my brother-in-law’s

Initially, when we moved out and started living independently, I made an effort to be welcoming and polite to my mother-in-law during her visits to see the grandchildren. I believed it was important to demonstrate that I had been well-educated and raised properly by my parents.

However, her frequent, unannounced visits began to bother me. As my family lives in an apartment in Ho Chi Minh City, she would often bypass calling ahead, instead asking the building’s security guard to send her up to our apartment. She would then appear at my door, eager to see my child.

During her visits, my mother-in-law often criticized my brother-in-law’s wife and spoke unfavorably about her, despite her son’s own shortcomings. She would unfavorably compare my brother-in-law’s child to mine, always in favor of the latter, often bringing gifts for my child while explicitly stating they were not for my brother-in-law’s child.

This behavior struck me as toxic, prompting me to discuss the situation with my husband. I expressed my preference for her to visit only when he was present, which, to my relief, led to a cessation of her visits.

Is my stance towards my in-laws too severe?