Bar flies to boozers: seven kinds of people lurking in Vietnamese clubs

By Pham Van July 22, 2016 | 04:30 pm PT

Club life in Vietnam and who you should expect to encounter.

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The lack of decent venues for ravers has led to the formation of a unique EDM scene that is guaranteed to provide a good story the morning after. Clubs here, due to their late development, are not quite what you might expect. Clubbing is considered less a recreational activity and more a chance to show-off, which explains the high tables that take up vast areas of clubs in Vietnam and limit the dance floor.

VnExpress puts on a tank-top, jogging pants and Yeezy boots and takes you to where the DJs are dropping the beats.

At the table

People with a high credit score.

The Oscar winner wannabes: Girls swimming in mermaid gowns, or boys sitting tight in tuxedos. These showmen and showwomen drink mostly nothing, sit on high chairs, check their phones non-stop, hardly look up and leave the club with everybody else.

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Hookah lovers: Since their introduction to Vietnam's growing smoking population, shishas have refused to be extinguished. Those with shisha pipes jammed in their mouths and phones in hand are not hard to find in the flashing lights and head blowing music.

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This is on a bike. You can probably guess what they're like "in da club".

Boozers: Those who drink like there's no tomorrow, moving from table to table in an unconscious attempt to socialize with strangers they will probably never meet again. These guys usually go clubbing on their own, but end up leaving with somebody on their arm.

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On-my-mark, douchebags: Of course it's not five, six, seven, eight or eenie, meenie, miney, mo. In Vietnam, we have our own anthem that contains mostly "Hey". You'll know it when you hear it.

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Off the table

Freeloaders: Beer in hand, joint at lips, regulars in almost every club.

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Bar flies: Hand to cheek, ashtray full of butts, finishing the night sober, if they manage to get a table. Usually the guy who helps the boozers get home.

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Endangered: Go to a club to... dance. Those who arrive excited and leave sweaty. Extremely rare in Vietnam, and drown everyone in awe whenever they show up.