The other day, I went back to my hometown for the death anniversary of my uncle at his youngest son's house. While everyone was eating and drinking noisily, my cousin (also one of the deceased uncle's sons) pulled me aside to his house to confide in me.
I had been away from my hometown for a long time and rarely returned, so I was not up to date on family matters. When we got to his house, I teased him that he built such a beautiful house yet did not invite me to his housewarming party. As if touching a nerve, he replied: "It took me VND2 billion (US$78,690) to build this house, but it sits on a plot of land that is not mine."
Astonished, I asked him whose land it was if it was not his. "My youngest brother’s," he sighed.
I remembered that my cousin’s house used to be a wooden one with a thatched roof. Like others living in the countryside, when he got married, his parents gave him a piece of land to build his house on. At that time, his parents "pointed" to a plot of land and told him he could build a house there. There was no paperwork.
As the house deteriorated and became too dilapidated, my cousin spent his life savings to renovate it, believing that since he had lived there for decades, the land must be his. His parents later passed away several years later but never transferred the land ownership to him. Their agricultural land was equally divided among their children, but their residential land, including the plot he was living on, was all given to their youngest son.
When he asked around, he found out that his father only verbally promised to let the youngest brother inherit everything as is the customary practice in the countryside. He and his wife were confident that the brother would eventually transfer the ownership to them. However, despite discussing the topic multiple times, the brother only made empty promises that he never followed through on.
My cousin did not dare to escalate the issue as he was in a vulnerable position. He and his wife can probably live in this house peacefully for the rest of their lives because of their long-standing relations with the brother and nearby relatives and neighbors. But he is worried about his children and grandchildren.
I advised him to approach the topic gently, possibly offering to buy back the land, as he risks losing everything if he presses too hard.
Stories of siblings taking each other to court over inheritance show the inherent flaws in many people's mindsets. Parents from the older generations, not thinking much about legalities, divided property by "pointing here and there," only to create conflicts for their children after they pass away. Excluding children from inheritance due to custom also creates many disputes.
Solving inheritance issues is easy if people follow the law, but making them drop outdated beliefs is the real challenge.
What do you think my cousin should do in this situation?
Reader Minh Tam
*This opinion was translated into English with the assistance of AI. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.